My Lily
by a-fifth-marauder
Summary: Lily and James, the perfect couple. But is there really such thing as a perfect couple? One without bumps in the road? No, there isn't. And Lily and James are not an exception.
1. Chapter 1

"James, try to unders-"

"Try to UNDERSTAND?! Lily! There is nothing for me to 'try to understand'! You were snogging another guy! That's all there is to it!"

"No, James," Lily began, "It wasn't what it looked like, I was-"

"Trying to shove your tongue down his throat while he did the same?" I suggested angrily.

I quickly learned that it was the wrong thing to say. Lily's eyes darkened, and I braced myself for a temper I hadn't felt for two weeks. She whipped her wand out at the speed of light and had it pointed at my chest before I could blink.

"Listen, Potter," Lily hissed. I cringed at her use of my last name. "I've listened to you," She jabbed my chest with the end of her wand with every word. "And it's about damn time that you listened to me," I spared a second to glance at the wand that was now emitting sparks. I'd hate to have a duel with Lily, I knew that she was just as good with a wand, if not better, than I was. She could definitely inflict major damage. "I know what you saw looked bad, but-"

"No, no, Lily! It was just absolutely splendid seeing you and some _muggle_ going at it," I drawled out sarcastically before I could stop myself. "I mean, really Lily? A muggle? You couldn't have done any better than a _muggle_?"

I heard Lily gasp sharply. "Oh! Well I'm sorry Potter, you seemed to have forgotten that my parents are _muggles,_ my sister is also a _muggle_ and that I am _muggle_born!"

I instantly regretted the words I had said earlier. "Oh Merlin, Lily! You-"

"It's Evans to you," she interrupted.

"Oh, come on, Lily! You know I didn't mean what I said! I was just angry," I pleaded desperately.

"But, I get angry, don't I? You know I have a horrible temper but I've managed to control it for the sake of us. I didn't unleash the 'infamous Lily Evans temper' on that slag from Hufflepuff that I caught flirting with you! Heck, I didn't even _utter a single rude word to_ her! But why is it that I always feel like I'm the one trying in this relationship?!"

"Lily," I began. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just, I just," I struggled to find the right words. "Lost it?"

"So you just 'lost it', I see," Lily walked closer to me so that her face was only centimeters from mine and I could see the tears welling in her beautiful emerald eyes. In different circumstances, I might have kissed her, but I knew that it definitely wasn't the time. "You know what, James . . ." her voice was cold and sharp. Each word felt as if it was a cut to the face. "I guess you've lost me, too,"

She turned sharply, letting me catch a whiff of her bright red hair as it whipped across my face. She swiftly left the room. The moment the door closed, I sat down on my favorite armchair, our favorite armchair, before I let out a shaky breath and burst into tears.

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**What do you think? I'll post the next chapter within a couple days :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hi, just wanted to say a couple things. Firstly, I'm new to this fanfiction thing, I've read _a lot_ of them but this is my first time writing one. I would absolutely love to hear your opinions on my story, so please review :) Secondly, if I ever involve any of Lily's "galpals" in the story, I think I'll be using Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon. I've been looking for what characters would be the most accurate and these two characters seem to work well. If you have a suggestion for a character from the book that would fit the part better, be sure to tell me! Thanks! Now, on with the story! :)**

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It had been months since I had last spoken to Lily. Our break up occurred over our Christmas holidays, and now, it was the day before our graduation ceremony. I gazed at her in classes and tried to catch her eye during meals, but by February, it felt like I was stuck in fifth year and it became obvious that Lily wasn't interested in mending things with me. So I went into a state of depression. But it didn't look like that on the outside. I refused to let anyone know that inside, I was truly breaking. The only ones who knew were Moony and Padfoot. Wormtail was never very observant and didn't notice that my smiles never quite reached my eyes, that my laughter was excessively obnoxious so that others wouldn't suspect that I was truly in pain.

I was back to my arrogant personality, and I was once again the "egotistical Neanderthal." I'm not completely sure what a "Neanderthal" is, but Lily always used it when she insulted me. I just wish she would insult me again, so that I knew she acknowledged my presence, but she did nothing of the sort. She focused on her studies and kept to herself and her small, close circle of friends. Sadly, approaching her friends about Lily didn't work either. Mary MacDonald, who was always so gentle, would send me a glance of pity. Marlene McKinnon, on the other hand, would shoot me looks intended to kill. I just wished I could get either look from Lily.

"Prongs!" A voice broke me out of my reverie. "Prongs! Are you alright, mate?"

"I'm fine, Padfoot. What do you want?" I snapped.

"Er, did you forget? Today is our last day at Hogwarts?! We need to do something wild! I mean, we are the Marauders, are we not?" Sirius flashed me a grin that I overheard girls describe as "scrumptious" . . . How I smile can be "scrumptious", I may never know.

"I don't know, Padfoot, maybe we should, you know, not cause a ruckus for once?" Ah, the calm voice of reason supplied by the one and only, Remus Lupin.

I stared at the ceiling of our dormitory as I heard Sirius's bark-like laughter erupt from the bed to my right. I sat up and turned to see my best friend rolling around on his four-poster laughing hysterically. He fell off the bed in mirth. He was still laughing and calmed down a few moments later. His head shot up from the floor to look at Moony and I who were seated patiently on my bed. "Wait, wh-why aren't you guys laughing? That was a joke, right Moony?"

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm being completely serious," Remus replied without a hint of laughter in his tone.

Sirius's face lit up. "But how can you be Sir-"

"NO PADFOOT!" I yelled, cutting him off. "That 'Sirius-Serious' joke got old the second day of first year."

"Oh shut up, Prongs," he retaliated. "Anyway, on to a life or death matter, would someone care to explain why we aren't doing a prank on our last day at Hogwarts?"

Remus took care of this one. "You see Padfoot, I think we've already pulled enough pranks to last us a lifetime. And our children's lifetime."

"But Moony," Sirius pleaded.

"Sorry, no buts," Remus answered primly.

"Is this 'no prank' thing about Lily?" piped up Wormtail. Funny... forgot he was even there. At the mention of Lily's name, my face fell, and I quickly looked down, but my facial expression did not go unnoticed by Remus and Sirius.

"Wormtail, you bloody Hippogriff! What the devil is wrong with you?!" Sirius exclaimed at Peter who sat perched on a small stool in the corner resembling a young child who was put on time-out.

"Sirius! Don't yell at Peter!" Moony defended Wormtail.

"Oh come on, Moony! Like you weren't thinking it too!" Sirius pointed his finger accusingly at Peter. He was never fond of Wormtail and always wondered why we "put up with him." I admit, he was a bit annoying at times, but once a friend, always a friend, and Wormtail was no exception to my rule.

"Sirius, lay off him, mate," I said tiredly. "I think I'll go for a walk," I got off my bed and walked toward the door. I caught my reflection in the window, and I looked like I hadn't slept in days, which I hadn't. Thoughts of Lily kept me up at night. My messy, raven-colored hair was messier than usual, and dark bags hung under my glasses-clad, hazel eyes.

I walked downstairs into the common room. It was relatively early, most students would only just be waking up. The room was empty as I walked through. I reached the portrait hole and looked back to see a red haired girl asleep on an armchair by the fireplace. She was curled up in the chair with a book clutched close to her chest. Oh, Lily.

I turned to walk out through the open portrait hole, but at that moment, I heard a group of fifth year boys thundering down the stairs from the dormitories.

"Shut up, will you?!" I whisper-yelled at them as they reached the common room. I didn't want them to wake up my lovely Lily. I must have looked intimidating since they quietly scurried out of the room.

I made my way back over to the armchair that held Lily. I studied her peaceful face. I stared at the small sprinkle of freckles across her nose and her long dark eyelashes. I dreamed about her mesmerizing emerald eyes that were hidden under her eyelids. A piece of her vibrant red hair strayed onto her face, and as I brushed it off, I heard the soft clearing of someone's throat behind me. I turned around to see Sirius standing at the base of the stairs to our dormitories.

"You really love her, don't you?" Sirius asked me. I don't know why he asked. He already knew the answer.

"So much, it hurts," I told him.

"Listen, if the both of you really are meant to be, then one way or another, you'll end up together,"

"But when, Sirius? When?! I don't know how long I'll be able to live without her. After tomorrow, I won't see her anymore, we won't be able to mend things! I heard about her internship in France at their Ministry of Magic, she wouldn't pass that up. And I wouldn't want her to, but it's going to kill me knowing that she'll be moving on to greater things, to greater people, and I won't… I can't," by the time I said this, I was on the verge of tears.

My best friend's stormy gray eyes showed sympathy toward me, not pity, but sympathy. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what to tell you, James. I've never been in a position like yours, but I can promise that I'll be with you, and so will Remus, and so will Peter. You won't be alone, and soon enough, you'll feel better than you do now," he looked me straight in the eyes before giving me a small smile and returning to our dorm.

I looked at Lily, and whispered to myself, "Yeah, I'll be better."

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**What did you think? I'd love some constructive criticism! Next chapter will be up by next Saturday at the latest :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Just wanted to say a quick thank you to Monica for my first review! Okay, now on with the story!**

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I walked through the crowded Ministry of Magic. An elevator was closing so I sprinted to it before the doors shut. I squished myself in between a crowd of other Ministry workers. At 6''2, I was easily the tallest. I waited in awkward silence until the elevator stopped at the Auror Department. I swiftly stepped out and strode into the office. I quickly made my way to my cubicle, sat down at my desk, and promptly put my head down hoping to get some sleep. Less than five seconds later, I was interrupted my Mad-Eye Moody, the Auror who told me what to do and when to do it.

"Get your head up, Potter. I'm gonna need you to file these," he said gruffly then dropped a two foot stack of papers on my desk. He left my cubicle and I groaned.

"Hey Prongs!" I saw Sirius's head peek over the top of my cubicle.

"Hi Sirius," I said tiredly.

"Guess what?!" Sirius started getting excited, and an excited Sirius was never good. "I overheard Moody talking with someone about a couple of Aurors from the French Ministry of Magic coming to work here,"

"Ok, what's so great about that?" I asked Sirius, I was getting impatient.

"Well, firstly James, what if they're _female _Aurors? Catch my drift?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

"You know I'm not ready for that," I complained.

"Prongs, it been nearly two years since you've seen Evans. It's time you moved on, mate," Sirius gave me a small smile and went back to his cubicle.

He was right. I'd said it many times, but this time, I meant it. I would move on.

"Hey Padfoot!" I called. "How bout we go to a club tonight? And make new friends," I suggested mischievously.

"Sure thing, Prongs!" I could hear the grin in his voice.

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Later that night, after heading home to the flat I shared with Sirius, I took a shower, made sure I washed my hair thoroughly, and when I looked in the foggy mirror, I knew that tonight, I would look much better than I had for almost two years. I decided to wear Muggle clothing. I picked out a pair of dark jeans and a grey v-neck. I threw on a jacket and sprayed some cologne on. I then Apparated to the new wizarding club that just opened, The Owl's Nest.

As I walked through the front door of the club, my ears were hit by pounding music and my eyes were met by powerful strobe lights. As soon as I adjusted to the noise and lights, I scanned the crowd for my best friend. I found him at the bar. I made my way toward him and saw that he was trying to chat up the bartender, so I sat back and watched. Soon enough, she told him to "floo her anytime" before she walked off to attend to her other customers.

"HEY PADFOOT!" I yelled as I put my hand on his shoulder. He quickly turned around throwing an arm on my shoulder.

"Prongs! Oh, my dear Prongs, how I've missed you!"

"Padfoot, we work together. We _live_ together,"

"Oh yes, but anyway," he glanced around the crowded room. "Look at all of these fine ladies here tonight. Take your pick, James. I recommend the brunette in the corner… and I'll just go quickly converse with the lonely blonde on the edge of the dance floor," Sirius shuffled away in pursuit of the girl and I stood by the bar. Thoughts of Lily came to my mind but I shoved them away_. No, Lily is gone. Forget Lily. She's obviously forgotten about you_.

I walked over to the brunette Sirius had spotted earlier. She stood there by herself, observing the people on the dance floor. One of the lights swept over her and I got a glimpse of her face. She had soft features, she was pretty, but not stunning like Lily. I pushed Lily to the back of my mind again and I walked over to the girl. As I approached, she looked up at me with a confused expression on her face.

"Hi, I'm James, James Potter," I looked for any sign of recognition on her face. She showed none.

"Oh, er, hello James Potter, I'm Rosalina Brown," she said cautiously.

"Hi Rosalina, did you happen to go to Hogwarts?" I tried to remember seeing her before, but I came up with nothing.

"No, actually, I was taught magic at home," she explained. So that's why I'd never seen her before.

"Oh, well that's nice! So do you live here in England?" she seemed nice enough, I didn't mind talking to her.

"Yes, I just moved back, actually. I was living in Spain for a year. Now I work at The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade,"

"That sound's cool! Would you like to have a drink?" I hoped she would say yes.

"Sure, why not?" We spent the next few hours drinking and doing heaven knows what. I can't even remember.

This girl, Rosalina, was taking my mind off Lily, even if it was for just a night.

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**A/N Okay, so what do you think? Please leave a review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Hi! Here's Chapter 4 and I hope you like it! It's a bit short, sorry :(**

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That morning, I woke up with a pounding headache. My head was throbbing, and as soon as I got up from my bed, I felt dizzy and ran to the bathroom. After throwing up whatever was in my stomach, I rinsed my mouth and took some hangover potion. I slowly walked to the living room to find Sirius sitting there on the sofa in just a pair of boxers.

"Morning sunshine, you look like crap,"

"I know I do, so, how was last night for you?" though I already knew. Sirius always had a great time at clubs.

"Oh, it was great. That blonde was… something else. Anyway, looks like you had some fun, too, hmm," he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"I honestly don't remember much, all I know was that I drank a bit too much, and I have a horrible hangover now," I thought about the girl from last night, Rosalina, and when I would see her again. My thoughts were interrupted when my eyes darted toward the clock on our wall. It was 8:17! Crap! We had to get to work by 8:30! "Padfoot! We have to get to work!"

I ran to my bedroom and threw on a random set of robes. I went to the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth and rinsed my face. I looked in the mirror and nearly screamed at my reflection. My hair looked like a rat's nest and my eyes were bloodshot. It was obvious I was a bit hungover. I looked at my watch and saw the time, 8:26. Well, there was nothing I could do now.

"Prongs! Hurry up!" I heard Sirius call from the living room. I grabbed my wand and headed toward the living room. Sirius stood there impatiently tapping his foot. The only remnants of last night were his slightly bloodshot eyes.

"Okay, I'm ready," we Apparated to the Ministry and felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed through a tube.

The elevator dinged and the speaker told us we were at the Auror department. Sirius and I stepped out and dashed our way through the maze of cubicles to ours. The moment we sat down, Frank Longbottom, another Auror who was a year older than us, came up to us.

"Moody's been looking for you, he wants the both of you in his office, now," he walked back to his cubicle on the other side of the room. I looked down at my wristwatch. _Damn,_ it was 8:34, Moody knew we were late. Sirius and I stood up and made our way to Moody's office in the back of the room. We heard Moody talking to someone on the other side of the door, so Sirius and I looked at each other and decided to wait. Suddenly we heard Moody's voice through the door.

"Come in, Potter, Black!" I forgot about his magical eye. We opened the door and stepped inside. Two chairs were facing away from us and towards Moody's desk.

"Where were you two? What did I say about being late?!" Moody looked us up and down, noticing our bloodshot eyes. "Ah, so you were out drinking last night?"

"I'm sorry, Sir," I began, but before I could continue, one of the two chairs swiveled around. In the chair sat a man who I wasn't familiar with. He looked about our age, he had curly, chocolate brown hair and bright blue eyes. His mouth was pulled into a smirk as he looked at the two of us.

"Sir, who is he?" Sirius pointed at the man facing us.

Moody sighed before saying "Potter, Black, meet the two Aurors from France. This is Louis Harrison," he gestured toward the man facing us. As he said this, the other chair turned around, and the rest of Moody's words were drowned out. In the chair sat a woman with bright red hair and even brighter green eyes. In the chair sat a woman I thought I would never see again. My Lily.

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**A/N What did you think? It would honestly mean a lot to me if you would review/follow this story. I've only had one review and I'd love some constructive criticism :) Next chapter will be up as soon as I can.**


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